AFTER MASS

Every other Sunday my Nan says

this dog’s collar is too tight

This is a 24-time-per-annum debate on loan from the last time she outed it

She ploys us all into feeling the underneath of the black leather collar that does in fact fit our dog Pedro

Yeah Nan it is a bit tight that,

you’re right, yeah

She takes it off, feeling the saviour of this poor critter we’ve overfed at the neck, yearly

She’ll watch Countryfile later with me Grandad, will tell him of her heroics after mass in our Marie’s as Matt Baker helps deliver a lamb from a sheep on the Yorkshire Moors wearing a woollen fleece

And then in would my Step Dad come after being out all day to avoid my Nan and say put the collar on the dog before he gets a cold and

yous are missing Countryfile,

yeno?

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